I love this, AD! And have been a long time fan of Jia Tolentino too. I’ve thought a lot over the last several years about the idea of becoming a parent — something that due to my sexuality self-discovery would have to be even more intentional than I had always mentally conceived…
The way society treats mothers and caregivers in this country is criminal and the isolation of childrearing scares me. I don’t want it for myself or for the people I love. I recently moved into the studio apartment downstairs of my two friends (whose wedding i was in several years ago) and their 14th month old. It has been the single greatest lifestyle change in recent memory to be in the same house, in community with friends and their baby. I’m living my best “Auntie Lil” life, and I know my friends appreciate the extra support too. My dreams are changing, developing, expanding. What could it look like for me to NOT have my “own” children and instead prioritize a lifestyle where I can really BE there to support raising the kids that I love who will inevitably be around me?
I so admire the thoughtfulness here - looking forward to reading more, and am sending a hug to you, Bo, Dylan and my dearest Peppino!!
Lily, I miss you!! And so appreciate this reflection on your dreams changing, developing, expanding. I am really sitting with that energy. What an incredible gift to live in such close proximity to good friends. They are so lucky to have your love and support. I know Bo (and I) would love an Auntie Lil living downstairs.
Love everything about this, Adriana. Great insights. And Bo is a cutie : )
Are you familiar with the work of Ai-jen Poo? She's done so much to grow the movement of caregivers and work toward equity. We have such a long way to go...
Maia, thank you :) I had heard of Ai-jenn Poo before but never did a thorough research of her work, but wow, incredible. I am so glad she is doing the work that she is, and feel inspired by it.
I feel this deeply. We relocated to lead a life of greater presence and intergenerational care and ecological connection just before my two year old was born and I am so incredibly grateful to have had the choice to do so. I see how his development, and ours, and our larger family’s has been shaped by this choice. But this choice also came with a significant reduction in our family’s income which we are still building back up again. The economics of parenting, the economy of care, the economy of time, the trade offs we must navigate are often agonizingly difficult and I’m so grateful that you’re writing about this.
I love this, AD! And have been a long time fan of Jia Tolentino too. I’ve thought a lot over the last several years about the idea of becoming a parent — something that due to my sexuality self-discovery would have to be even more intentional than I had always mentally conceived…
The way society treats mothers and caregivers in this country is criminal and the isolation of childrearing scares me. I don’t want it for myself or for the people I love. I recently moved into the studio apartment downstairs of my two friends (whose wedding i was in several years ago) and their 14th month old. It has been the single greatest lifestyle change in recent memory to be in the same house, in community with friends and their baby. I’m living my best “Auntie Lil” life, and I know my friends appreciate the extra support too. My dreams are changing, developing, expanding. What could it look like for me to NOT have my “own” children and instead prioritize a lifestyle where I can really BE there to support raising the kids that I love who will inevitably be around me?
I so admire the thoughtfulness here - looking forward to reading more, and am sending a hug to you, Bo, Dylan and my dearest Peppino!!
Lily, I miss you!! And so appreciate this reflection on your dreams changing, developing, expanding. I am really sitting with that energy. What an incredible gift to live in such close proximity to good friends. They are so lucky to have your love and support. I know Bo (and I) would love an Auntie Lil living downstairs.
Love everything about this, Adriana. Great insights. And Bo is a cutie : )
Are you familiar with the work of Ai-jen Poo? She's done so much to grow the movement of caregivers and work toward equity. We have such a long way to go...
Maia, thank you :) I had heard of Ai-jenn Poo before but never did a thorough research of her work, but wow, incredible. I am so glad she is doing the work that she is, and feel inspired by it.
I feel this deeply. We relocated to lead a life of greater presence and intergenerational care and ecological connection just before my two year old was born and I am so incredibly grateful to have had the choice to do so. I see how his development, and ours, and our larger family’s has been shaped by this choice. But this choice also came with a significant reduction in our family’s income which we are still building back up again. The economics of parenting, the economy of care, the economy of time, the trade offs we must navigate are often agonizingly difficult and I’m so grateful that you’re writing about this.